Everything Happens For a Reason

Over the past year, I've had a couple set backs, just like anyone, but one of them was devastating for me and I just couldn't understand the good in it.

For the past 3 years I was the head wrestling coach at North Bend High School in North Bend Oregon. I loved it... I wanted it.. I was lucky to do it! I was a volunteer for 3 years prior to getting the job and I dreamed of the day I would get the shot. I did everything I could to be a good coach and I loved having the kids over for pulled pork or ribs, taking them to a college tournament, feeding them after they were starving.. whatever I could do to get them interested in wrestling... You know.. EAT!
It was awesome to be part of a family like that and have a chance to inspire kids.
Being a tech guy I border probably on the edge of the most hated guy at the school at times. Not that I have complete control over what happens on our network but I can create blocks and limitations to "fun" and unfortunately there is some backlash. Fortunately, most kids are pretty cool and understand it's for their own protection but you occasionally have to shut down some access to "fun" and therefore your stock in cool guy goes down.. And a tech guy can use all the cool guy help he can get :D
Point being, it's very hard to bond with kids in my line of work. I mostly converse with the teachers and spend very little time with students. I try to work quickly and incognito if possible in order to slip in and slip out without interrupting their teachings. I'll also admit I have some stage fright so when the door opens and every kid looks up to stair judging'ly at you, all you can think is "please God.. let me zipper be in the upright position!".
There is a point to this.... I found my way to bond with the kids was through coaching and the feeling it gave me was amazing! I thought several times I could be playing footbag with them but I've found that no one is very interested in juggling a ball on your foot. Especially if you have to practice hours upon hours to get good at it. And no one else is gonna be there to hold your hand. I have seen it become quite a social experiment but it's not the same and you have to be somewhat dedicated and truly enjoy it just like anything to get really good at it.
So wrestling was something I was not only good at, but it brought back great memories of my childhood and it was a school sport, which it was not when I was in high school. I was still in good enough shape too to be able to show some skills and I was hooked all over again.

Coach Gary Prince had taken the job after no one else wanted it. He had little to no experience with wrestling but he has exactly what it takes to be a good coach and that is his desire to see them succeed. He brought in the numbers, turned the program around and won a District Championship back when it was harder to do than it is now. He has now moved on and has been extremely successful on the gridiron taking North Bend to 2 state Championship games, 2 semifinal appearances, and 2 quarter-final appearances in 6 years as head coach (I think that's right).. Anyway, he's been doing awesome and I'm so happy for his success.

Coach Prince showed me that most of coaching was passion. And if you had enough passion, the kids were gonna see that and buy in and next thing you know you got everyone wanting to wrestle. WRONG!
That first year was an eye opener. I got new equipment, tried doing pre-season practices, came in for freestyle/greco, weight lifting... You name it I was trying it. And I got a whopping 9 kids to come out ending the season with 7. For 2 duals I had 4 kids that could wrestle. It was rough... I want to be the best in everything I do and it was a really tough pill to swallow getting killed due to lack of a team. I swore I would work harder and learn from my mistakes and the next year we doubled in size. By my 3rd year we had tripled and were on the right track again. I even had almost 10 kids on a regular basis coming out for pre-season practices. I couldn't be happier! Who wants to work in the summer? 10 tough kids.. that's who!

Towards the end of July I was told that there was something the Admin needed to talk to me about. Naturally I was puzzled and concerned. I had no idea that what they were about to tell me and I tried thinking; did I push a kid to hard? or didn't give them enough water breaks?.. I was clueless.
I was told that a new interpretation of the law has been shown to them and that they were not in compliance at the moment. And to become compliant, they may possibly have to let me go as a coach due to me making an hourly wage. Not only an hourly wage but a higher than average hourly wage coupled with a ridiculous amount of hours due to multi day tournaments and sleeping overnight etc. Wrestling's structure just demands full days there is no way around it. And due to a high rate of pay and a high rate of hours, this was going to force them to have to pay me overtime if I went over a certain amount of hours.  We didn't realize they would have to pay me for sleep time as well (even though I can't supervise with my eyes closed).

Originally I was like "well, it's been a great opportunity and keep in touch. Let me know what's going on and hopefully it will change". It did change but not in my favor. I was forced to resign from something I was truly passionate about. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and at the time I was very bitter, pissed off, angry, you name it I was it.. I'm sure I over complained and threw some fits but to lose something like that over a stipulation, and over money... Something I didn't sign up for in the first place it just happens to go with the job. Nobody coaches to make money, at least the coaches I know aren't. This would mean all classified employees would not be able to coach and to this day we still aren't able to coach.  write your congressman and tell them to change the law!

Ok ok.. the point.. I know.. I'm getting to it. The point is that at the time I thought this just sucks and now what am I gonna do with my time??? Well, I found something to do and that was to start enjoying life with my wife and we hit the road and started going camping. We've camped all up and down the coast and even Northern California a few times and my passion has been renewed. We even have another trip already in the books in mid September. We are hoping our daughter is in full remission and her and her fiance are able to come with us to Jedidiah State Park in CA.
The other great thing about not coaching at this time is I can now focus 100% of my energy on getting my daughter well. If I was coaching it would be near impossible to split my time in that way and therefore I am thankful I am not in that position. At  the time, and I probably even said it, "why is this happening to me". Well now I know. And it goes with everything I've tried to tell myself all along and how I mostly try to live my life and that is everything happens for a reason~

My daughter is having the fight of her life. I hate it with every ounce of my being. But I have to think that it's for a good reason whether I want to believe it or not. I know there is a purpose and I know that one of those reasons is for us to be closer and for that I am extremely grateful.
My daughter and I used to be gaming buddies and play World of Warcraft and Battlefield all the time. It was our thing. But as time went on and games became a thing of the past it was hard to find that thing we could bond over and for whatever reason we just didn't find that connection.
Through this process though, I feel we've been able to talk allot more and really get to know each other a bit better and I find I am loving being able to help her, in fact I'm craving it right now! I want to get up there and help her in any way I can. Especially when she truly wants my help.
I think most teenagers find they can do it on their own and so your not needed as a parent anymore. Right now we ARE needed and for good reason yes, but I truly feel she has seen our lectures and speeches were actually lessons all along...and out of love and not "cause we said so"...and to see that corner being turned is a very powerful feeling. I am thankful to cancer for bringing us together. But I'm more thankful to be together as we beat cancer! We love you Sweetiepie.. BUNCHES AND BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!<3